dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
