What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
