I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
