I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
