We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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