Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
