No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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