Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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