Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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