I murdered the dance floor call the cops
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
