words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
