She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
oh god was she eating orange peels again
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
