you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
