PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize