then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
