Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
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