I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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