nut hugger
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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