I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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