i wish peter jackson would direct porn
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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