I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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