Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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