Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
