How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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