I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
