you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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