i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
