drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
