Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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