I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I enjoy the company of your penis
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
