Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
