my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
