i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He felt like a one man threesome
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
