please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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