So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize