I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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