i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
