Yo dont text me then not text me
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
