This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
