i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
