is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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