"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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