I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
