yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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