...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
