Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
