I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize