I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
