I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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