How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
