yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
