You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
