He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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