I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
