Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
