In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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