he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
