The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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