& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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