You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
