when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Couch. On fire.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize