I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
