at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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