Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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