The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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